hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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