Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
