and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
