My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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