I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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