we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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