I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
