I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
When are your genitals available?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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