well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I fill condoms, not promises.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
