you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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