Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
