And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
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If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
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I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
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