We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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