If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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