He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
