we have officially lost it.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
