I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
