It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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