I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
