I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
