I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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