pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I touched a dick in church today
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
