ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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