i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
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