She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
