I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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