so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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