dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
