you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
