So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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