there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
of course. lets lasso hookers.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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