It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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