i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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