My liver just broke up with me...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
