why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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