If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
