You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
