She is in my trunk
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
