why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
