I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
