What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
