next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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