i think my tv is drunk
one two three fourrrrnication!
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
