I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
