he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
