I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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