There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
