No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
