Got a toothbrush?
i don't like sucking hair
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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