i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
it's great music for shaving your balls
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Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
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I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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