i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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