twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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