could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
