We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
