so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
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