There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
