is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
