I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
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Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
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I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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