I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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