you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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