this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
