Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
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white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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