i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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