i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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