Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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