She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
