I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
