If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
