were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
