Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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